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Hello, and welcome to another top advisor marketing podcast. All right, everybody. This is a rare situation. And why is it rare? Well, you don’t know. So I’m going to tell you that. So this is what it is I have never had besides my business partner Kirk Lowe. A guest, who’s been on both the Be Your Own Loud podcast and the top advisor marketing podcast.
And there’s a strong reason for that. Number one, because the Be Your Own Loud podcast has a little bit different of a format, but most importantly, it, it, there isn’t always a lot of transition or a lot of a symbiotic sort of stuff that you hear in the bureau law podcast. A lot of podcasts that really focuses on what we talk about here on the top advisor marketing podcast, but our guests today, He broke the rule, right?
Uh, he changed the game for us. And I also don’t try to do a really long intro, but there’s a couple of things I need to say here. Number one, he’s the founder of the Myers method. You need to follow him on LinkedIn. We’ll have, we’ll make sure that we have his links in the show notes. His name is Jerome Myers.
He’s the man who took the red pill. He’s the man who is going to help you access it. The matrix you all live more in the matrix than most people do in so many of you are tired. So many of you are looking around and saying, Matt, I just am so tired of running on this treadmill. And I don’t seem to beginning anywhere.
Well, guess what our guest today is going to help you get off of that because here’s the final point before we get started, you can’t successfully market in the expertise economy. Like we’ve been teaching you for over 300 episodes. If you don’t have you taken. If you don’t really understand who you are, what makes you unique and different and how you can use that to position yourself in the marketplace to destroy your competition, you will never be as successful as you can be because here’s the deal.
You gotta be you because everybody else has taken. And our guests today is going to help you figure out who you are and help you go to levels that you didn’t even realize we’re opportunities. Jerome welcome to the show, Matt, I just got to take you around with me for the rest of my life. Like I got this soundboard over here and it’s probably out of bounds, but we just need to give you a round of applause, man, because I’m walking out and I just feel like I’m ready to play a game.
I haven’t played football in about, I don’t know, 14 or 15 years, but I’m ready to play, man. Thanks for having me super grateful. You’re welcome. Here’s here’s where I would like to begin. So we’re going to dive right in what is the Meyer’s method? How does it work and where did it come from? Yeah, so this is something where I confuse a lot of people.
The Meyer’s method is something that we implement in real estate. The red pill is our model for centered life. And the red pill is what I prescribe. To all the people that I work with and financial services, it’s got six levels, right? Self-image relationships, work, health prosperity, and significance. And most people may turn this off if we’re not just talking about making more money, because that’s what it’s all about.
Right? Well, it was all about that until our climb, the ladder. And I realized that having the exotic car in the 6,000 square foot house and the vacations out of the country, I didn’t mean anything when I didn’t love myself and I didn’t feel good about the work that I was doing. And that’s what happens in financial services.
You know, I meet the folks who are saying, well, maybe I should spend more time with a family or this or whatever the thing is where they feel like, or no, they don’t feel like they realize they have this moment where they say the money is an important, any. It’s not the thing that’s making me go through and do this stuff that I don’t really enjoy doing.
And so with that, as the backdrop for anybody out there, that’s listening, let’s have a conversation about something that’s real, right. Let’s have a conversation about actually living a life of fulfilling. Instead of this empty life, where we buy a bunch of things that fill the holes in our souls, because that’s where the majority of people live.
And you want to know how you know that you’re in that space. If you don’t know, you need something to relax at the end of the day, because your life is so bad. And then in the morning when you get up, you need something to wake you up because you had to take a downer to get down. Right? You have a hard time looking yourself in the mirror.
You have a hard time being in a quiet room. If those things are happening for you, if they’re coming up for you, we’ve got to do something because if not, you’re going to destroy yourself. Something that happened to me.
Jerome, we talked about this previously. That was eye-opening to me before I took the red pill, was I helped to an advisor make a million dollars.
Right. That was their goal. Matt, I will be happy. Alright, no problem. Practice management, marketing techniques, go, go, go, go, go. Working to death. Right. Made a million dollars. So I said, you know, Hey, you achieved your goal. You know, how, how do you feel? Uh, I’ll be happy at 2 million and what ends up happening in what Jerome is talking about here, everybody is, is you’re throwing things into a gaping hole that things can’t fill.
And the moment that he’s talking about might happen during this show where you realize all of the things that he just said are the reason why you’re not happy and the level of success that you’re going to be able to achieve. Is so much greater. You’re going to have so much more impact. If you take the red pill, now let’s go through those six things.
Where do we begin? We’d start at the core, right? So you have to take the red pill and most people want just the world around them, the change, but it starts with you. So we start with self-image right? So if you got to put a mask on to go onto the street, you’re probably not living your best life, right? If you feel like you can’t be yourself and do the thing that you do, then we need to do one or two things.
Stop doing the thing that you. Or show up as your best self so that you can show the world who you are. You know, the beautiful thing about what you guys do is you present the representative, use, present the advisor, you present the wealth manager. To the world so that the world can get excited about it.
Right? At the end of the day, people do business with people. They want a relationship with you. They want to first, they got to know you, which is what Matt can help you with. Once they know you, they make a decision on whether or not they like you. And this is a funnel, right? Everybody knows you is not going to like you.
The final piece is trust. This is where we get jammed. If there is a disconnect between your messaging and. Trust is going to evaporate immediately. Anything that was created through the marketing, that isn’t true to who you are. People are going to sit down with you. They’re going to say, I don’t know what’s wrong, but something’s wrong.
And they are gone and you’re scratching your head. Like, why isn’t it converting? Why isn’t it happening? Why am I spending this money? Well, you’re spending the money so they should get the message in front of people. So they know you. And then I make a decision whether or not say like you, but that last piece is.
And so if you are bringing people to you under the false pretense, you’re not going to convert. And so spending the money on the upstream stuff is a waste because, well, wait man, I’m, I’m going too far. You can fool them. You can put your mask on, but it’s exhausting. It’s absolutely exhausting. And that’s why you’re so drained when you get home from work versus you just being out and being yourself and enjoying the space.
So, you know, there’s two choices. I don’t want to pretend like it’s just driving off a bridge, but the self-image is really at the end of the day, what I call accountability. It’s a mirror moment. It’s your ability to look yourself in the mirror and say, I did the right thing to do. I lived up to my morals and values and I feel good about who I am and what I do.
Right. If you can’t do that, then you put yourself in trouble. How, how do we train that? How do we grow that? Well, we make tiny promises to ourselves, micro promises and everybody who’s been through any sales training. They get people to nod their heads. Well, you need to sell yourself. Right. So what promise can you make to yourself?
That, you know, you can complete in a relatively short amount of time to give yourself some momentum. Right? For me, it’s getting up and running six miles. If I do the six miles, then my day is all downhill from there. Because before I started doing this, the farthest I ever ran was probably two miles. Right.
And it wasn’t voluntarily, somebody was blowing a whistle and yelling. Right. So if I can force myself to do that, then I did something that was hard. And that gives me personal momentum to go through the day, but that isn’t what’s important. What’s important is I said I was going to do it. Then I did it.
Right. That’s the personal accountability. The other thing that you’ll see is when you have that personal accountability, you can take that to level two, which is the relationships and you can hold the people who you’re spending time with. That’s what everybody’s looking for. If you’re looking for a leader to come into your world, you want somebody who’s accountable to you and vice versa.
They reciprocate the accountability. The thing that I’ve learned for the rainmakers, the apex performers in the industry is more often than not. They have a bunch of one way relationships. People are only coming to them to get. They are not bringing anything to you. You are sourced and everybody else’s feeding off that source.
You know what happens when your source, and you’re not connected to anything else that’s filling that bucket. You end up empty and you can’t pour anything from an empty vase. And so what I say is you got to reframe those relationships so that they’re mutually benefiting. Right. You want to weigh relationships?
You want, because in the definition of relationship, if it’s one way it’s unhealthy, right? You cannot have a healthy relationship. If there’s not mutual benefit, it’s just impossible. Okay. I need to pause you there because you just, you touched on something that I I’ve heard a lot, right. In, in the advisers I used to work with.
That’s a cycle. It’s almost like a cycle of abuse, right? Uh, because you know, if you were abused, then the probability of you beating other people. And so if you’ve only surrounded yourself, especially in your professional and adult career with people who have that, just one way relationship, Jerome, how, how are, how do you help them one look in the mirror and see it happen.
And then to break this. Yeah, we, we asked the questions, right. And it’s, it’s very deliberate. Hey, what’d that person do for you lately? Woo. Okay. I wasn’t ready for it. We’re not trying to make it transactional. Right. But mad. If you look at the last five people you talked to in your phone and you can’t remember the last time that one of them did something nice for.
Why are they the top people that you’re spending the most time with? Right. Because the world is, I really do believe the universe is here to serve us. Right. And in that we have to serve others. And so we, we ask the hard questions and force people to say out loud, either this person is serving or they aren’t.
And if they are then how can we reframe it so that they do. And if they’re not willing to serve us in any way, shape or form, if they are only a taker, then we need to sever that relationship and replace it with someone who can help us move to that next space. Right. If you don’t do that, then your leaky bucket.
Yeah. W we moved from self-image without talking about holes in the soul and all of this stuff that we try to do to, uh, put calluses around things that hurt instead of actually dealing with them. Because I didn’t want to go that deep on the folks in the first five minutes of the podcast. But you know, when you get to that second level, you’ve got to plug those holes.
And your relationships so that you can get some regenerative growth, right? We don’t want our clients to leak out at the end of the year. We want to keep everybody in. It’s no different with our relationships. So we want to keep the energy flowing. Right. Three, we, we take that to the next level, right? And so now you got yourself good.
You’ve layered that around with the people that you’re in acting. And what you’ll find is in the workplace, people are going to be attracted to you, right? You’ve got accountable relationships. People know they can count on you and you’re holding them accountable. People crave that. And for when they’re looking for somebody to follow.
And so in that. You expand, you, you may be an individual contributor. So now you become a leader for the Salesforce. Maybe you are already leading a group. You get asked to lead a bigger group, then maybe they change your overrides to incentivize you to do some things that you wouldn’t normally do from a leadership standpoint.
And you’re walking in integrity. So the folks who were coming and sit down with you feel really good about spending with you because they trust. They can see that there’s alignment between your words and actions. They can see that there is alignment between your marketing message and the body that’s in the chair.
And those things just lead to expansion, right. And that allows your work to be fulfilling. And so the bottom three pieces of the red pill, self image, relationship and work are the sources of all our stress. We work on those three first. Because the next level is health. And if I can get rid of your stressors, then I can get you to stop doing this self destructive habits that are destroying your health.
Right. If you’re totally stressed out at work, whatever your drug of choice. Mine’s a sugar. I love sugar when I’m stressed out, I stress eat. Right. I’ll eat a whole bag of Snickers just because they taste so good. I used to do turtles, but Snickers are cheaper and it’s more fun. Right. But for you, it could be alcohol, it could be gambling.
It could be whatever your thing is. Right. The thing that you’re doing to take the edge off as we can. Uh, I call it numbing. Right? My goal here is to get that stress to a level where you don’t feel like you need to numb. And what you can actually do is experience the ride of life without feeling like you’re going to crash into an abyss.
Right? The thing about numbing, the lows is it also clips the highs. And so my whole goal is to get people to experience life. So. So that they can actually enjoy the highs because those dopamine hits and all of the other chemicals will wire you to do more of the right thing. Right. And then from there in the health level, we go up to prosperity now.
Everybody wants to talk about prosperity. If you start there, you’d have a ton of clients. I do have a ton of clients anyway, but the point is, there’s no reason for you to have your prosperity before your health, because if you don’t have your health, you’ll spend all of your prosperity, trying to get it, you know?
We did this thing called practice make-over many, many years ago, a guy named Matt Ackerman and I, and, and, uh, he did with investment news and, and he had a guy. So this was like a reality show for financial advisors. And, and he did one. And the advisors specifically said in this was like the quote of the series was most advisors spend their health.
Gaining their wealth. And then they have to spend every penny of that wealth to regain a sliver of the health that they lost, because they didn’t take care of themselves. I don’t want that for anybody. Right. And so if we can, and the fact of the matter is your health allows you to be in peak performance mode, right.
If you’re not crushing it on the health front, then you’re not optimal. And how can you possibly enjoy life at the highest. If you’re not optimally performing from a health perspective. So tap, I’m sorry, I’m going to stop you there. So self-image relationships work. So those are the foundational bottom things that we need to work on before you can go ahead in, those are the things that are the stressors in your life.
Those are the foundations to bring us to health, and then I cut you off with prosperity. So you want to go ahead and continue with five and so prosperity is all of the stuff that everybody else talks about, right. But you don’t ever actually enjoy the prosperity. And for me, I believe that the prosperity is there so that you have abundance, you have overflow and out of that overflow, you can make your significance play.
The only real success is having a positive impact on the lives of other people. That is it. After you have your basic needs. All we’re looking for is self-actualization. And I get so lost in people trying to buy things, to make themselves feel better about the things that they were doing instead of actually making the money, enjoying the money and sharing it on the things that actually make an impact.
And when I say significance and well, let’s just go back to prosperity, prosperity. Isn’t just money. It’s your time, talent. And. Right. If you’re giving up all your time in order to earn your money, you’re not wealthy. Wealth is the ability to have choices, right? And it’s not just about the ability to have a choice on what to buy it’s about you being able to allocate the resources that are most important to you, to the things that are most important to you.
If, if you have to work 80 hours a week, are you free? Are you truly prosperous because you’ve got $8 million in the bank, but you can’t go to the ball game or you can’t go to dinner or you got to miss the birthday or we can keep going down the list. Maybe you say those things aren’t important to you, but are they important to the other people around you?
And yeah, sure. People can give grace and understanding, but if you were, if money wasn’t an option. Would you make a different choice? And at the point that we’re saying I’d make a different choice. If I didn’t have to go do this thing, because I didn’t have to do it to make money, then we actually see where your true values are.
And how do we get an alignment with that instead of selling off our morals. And then the last piece is a significant play. Right? All right. It’s a significance in a second because you, you said something else there that I need to highlight. I’m sorry. I’m interrupting you there too, but here’s the thing, right?
So you talked about time, talents and treasures. One of the things that I firmly believe is that there’s, there’s five things. So for everything that you want in life, you have to be willing to give up something proportionate to that. Yeah. A wise person told me that a long time ago, there’s five things that you can give up time, talents, treasures, which you hit, but the other two are relationships and control.
Right? So what is prosperity to you? What, everything that Jerome just said, you talked about relationships in the last thing is he talked about control. If you’re working 80 hours a week, you have no control. Right. You are a slave to something else. You do not. You are not in control of your own destiny.
And if you are not in control of your own destiny, then you can’t truly have significance, but Jerome, how do you help somebody figure out significance? Do that’s, uh, this other stuff’s heavy. I mean, don’t get me wrong, but now you’re talking to me. This is, this is, you know, Maslow’s hierarchy. Exceeding the top of self-actualization here with, with significance.
Help us with that, please. Yeah. So if you could solve any problem in the world, what would it be? And it’s always personal. Right? When we endowed a scholarship at my Alma mater, it was the first privately endow engineering scholar at full engineering scholarship. Why was that important to me? Well, We muddied together a few different scholarships so that I didn’t have student debt.
When I got out of school, that was core for me. And I wanted to show somebody else with that experience, Matt, because it allowed me to do things that I wouldn’t have been able to do. And I was so silly coming out of high school that I didn’t even know you had to pay for college until my senior year. And then I was asking questions about how that was going to get done.
Right. Fortunately, I did the right things from a, uh, academic standpoint and from sports that it D it was a non-issue my mother and my father spent the time to push me and guide me in the right direction, so that I’d already checked the boxes when the time came for that decision to be made. But I was fat, dumb, and happy, man.
Right. And so all of us have seen something. In our world that we think should never happen. And if we could allocate our time to fix that out, share our talents or allocate some treasure to make that problem go away. We would. So what is that for you? What is it? What is, hold on you just, um, I’m, I’m, I’m driving down your throat on this number.
What is that? What is your significance? What is that thing for you? That if you could make that change, it would change every it’s. So self-serving right. I appreciate you asking me this question and it’s going to come full circle because for me it’s suffering. I am so sick of seeing people do work.
They’re not passionate about because it pays well, I was that guy. Right. I was fortunate enough to break six figures, four years out of college, and then think that I had to continue to live that life and that the Zetas were going to end the bigger the house and the better the flights and the better the resort and all of that stuff was going to actually fix it for me.
And it didn’t, I felt worse. The more money I had because for me, Matt, I used to coach high school football. After I got off of my engineering and project management work. And when I traded that in for a pay raise and the opportunity to fly around the world and go consoled and it paid more money. And I still remember coming back in from salt lake city back in the Richmond, Virginia, and the airport.
The flight path is over a high school football field and it was nine o’clock on a Friday night, we were getting back. And if you played football or you went to a football game in high school, there’s nothing more magical than Friday night lights. And I look out the window at people running up and down the field and the people in the stands going absolutely crazy because somebody was about to score a 50 or 60 yard touch.
And I started crying because for me, that was my significance. I had been in a head-on car accident with the dump truck and I, you know, was in a wheelchair for a while. And the thing that kept me sane when I was in that space was being able to go to a football field. And blow whistles and yell at people and make them do push us and all of this stuff that, you know, you smile about on the backside of it, because you know that it’s preparing you for the fight of life and had I not played collegiate sports and still been in great shape.
When I was in that accident, I probably would have died because I had 14 hours of surgery to put Humpty Dumpty back together again. And what I realized was. Football prepared me to go through what I needed to go through, to recover, because it was going to take a different level of tenacity and grit. And I just wanted to be able to give that gift to other people.
What I found though, after I made the transitions and made the money was I enjoy working with the adults even more than I, the high school kids, because I can make a bigger impact in a shorter amount of. And so for me, the significance play is this work. That’s why I walked away from corporate America and decided that I was going to exit the matrix and focus on this work so that other people didn’t have to live in the space where they believed that they had to continue to do shit fed did not actually matter for them at the end of the day.
If you’re still here, which you are, or you would be hearing my voice.
I want you just pause for a moment and if you’re not driving or you’re wherever you are, I want, I want you to just take out a piece of paper. And I want you to answer that question. Now I know that I’m putting the cart before the horse here. Cause you got a lot other work you need to do, but I want you to think about that level of significance.
What, what can you, what do you want to change? And it can be self-serving and that’s fine because it’s the butterfly effect, right? It’s you help five adults. Be better humans. Those five adults are going to help 5, 10, 50, 100, a million people. And, and that’s how this game works.
The red pill self-image if you’re wearing a mask and you’re looking at yourself in the mirror right now, and you say, dude, I don’t like what I look like. I don’t like who I am appearing to be in my own eyes. Then you need to take the. Number two. If you’re looking around at the people who are around you and those relationships are not reciprocal relationships and they are not surrounding people who are providing you with as much as you’re giving them, and you’re surrounding yourself with the S people, then you need to take the red pill.
Number three, if your work is making it so that you have to self-medicate every single solitary. You need to take the red pill if, if your health sucks ass, right. And you’re really not taking good care of yourself and you know, it, you feel it. You’ve had 18 heart surgeries. You’re on blood pressure medicine.
You weigh more than that $5,000 custom suit that you bought doesn’t fit you anymore. You need to take the red pill if your prosperity, isn’t something you enjoy, but you think to yourself, damn. I’d really like to enjoy the nice things that I have. Then you need to take the red pill. And finally, if you are not living a life of significance, or if you don’t even know where to begin on how to live a life of significance, and I think you need to take the red pill, Jerome, what’s the best way for them to reach out to you.
Like I have got an opportunity for one person. I bring one person on that. Right. And depending on the progress that we’re making, I fire a person a month because I don’t want anybody’s money from a coaching standpoint. If I’m not a profit center for them. And profit is two things, making more money, enjoying your life more.
If those two things aren’t happening, I don’t want to be a part of it because my goal in life, my whole mission is for every person that I come in contact. For their life to be better because of our encounter. And so if I’m going to embed myself into a person’s life, understand their fears, understand their dreams, help them move from where they are to the place that they want to go.
Give them my reticular activating system. So that I think about them when we’re not on the phone, because I’m the guy that had the reputation in corporate America for carrying to. Yeah, the question was Jerome. Can you make the hard decisions because you care about your folks so much. And what I’ve seen happen in a coach in an industry is every client is just a dollar and it just makes my stomach hurt.
I throw up in my mouth when I listen to most coaches talk because they don’t actually care about you. They don’t actually care to know who you are. They just want to solve. Very small problem in your huge world. And I want to be a part of your entire world so that you can actually be happy when you look yourself in the face, you can look at your partner in the eyes and not feel like you have this mask on.
Right. And so super selective about the people that I work with. And, you know, I, I probably fire people more than I get fired because it’s all about progress. For me, I’m addicted to results, right? I’m a dopamine addict when you win. I win. And that for me is intoxicating. That’s how I numb to wrap things up today.
One of the other reasons why I want to Jerome on the show w was not just because I think he has something that’s fundamentally unique and different than our industry desperately, desperately needs. The big difference between him as a coach. And when I was a coach, is the fire that burns in his belly from a competitive standpoint was not something I had.
And when we first talked that I felt that from him and I was like, this guy is gonna, like, he wants you to succeed at the level of that coach of that player, of that athlete, of that successful person. There aren’t a lot of people out there in our industry like that. Everybody they’re really. Can they fix some of your problems?
Can they help you run your practice more successfully? Can they help you with HR can help you with systems. Can hell can they help you with marketing? Yeah, they can do all of that, but why I do all of that when you don’t have you, and you’re not looking at yourself in the mirror and you’re not realizing that you can be really happy with what’s looking back at you.
Make sure that we have the links in the show notes. Please reach out. Uh, he also posts some really great stuff on LinkedIn. You’ve got a couple of amazing podcasts. Uh, we’ll make sure that we have links to all of those Jerome. It’s been an absolute honor. Thank you for doing what you do.
Thank you for doing it for as many people as you can do it for. And for those of you who are listening, you need to ask that question. Are you ready to take the red pill? Are you ready to exit your matrix? And if you are, I think we have a solution for you. So for Jerome and all of us here at proud mouth, we’ll see you on the other side of the mic.